If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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