I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
