So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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