yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
