Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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