I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
