I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
my god I love twenty year old dicks
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
