Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
