how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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