Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
