Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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