Your face is a jimmy john
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just found puke in my bra..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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