hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
