Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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