I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
