What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just threw up on my dentist
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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