That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
