you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
