can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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