my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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