I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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