we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sext me about skeletons
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
