so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
is it fun? or sober?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
