is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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