I can't watch pbs sober anymore
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
