and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
