So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
