I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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