dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
