just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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