He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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