i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
