so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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