Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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