I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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