So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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