Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
love makes seman taste better
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
