nutella sex= disaster
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
