so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If I die, sorry about rent.
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