the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I touched a dick in church today
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
