this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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