i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
