shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
