I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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