the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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