They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
where am i from again
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
