are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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