Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I can't put those talents on a resume
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
