I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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