oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
