Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
