in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
